I close my eyes to sleep, nap rather, every now and again. As the outer, conscious world becomes quieter and the mind slows, my mind’s eye becomes possessed with vivid yet transient glimpse of a place, a person but most of all, a “feeling”.
This description is unsatisfactory, given that the feeling is so clear as to feel like a memory, albeit a memory not entirely my own, as if shared with someone else. More than this, the essence of this transitory half-memory is so powerful as to seemingly encompass an entire past, present and future relative to it. Once again though, not a chronology I can hold in relation to experience.
The visual component of this experience is “seen” as if regarding a screen at the farthest end of a corridor, distinctly colored and illuminated, although surrounded and distorted by shadows cast from its light.
I am awake during these experiences, and I do not believe they are precursors to dreams which beckon and draw in the mind, preparing its descent into the volatile morass of the true unconscious: their similarity to reflective memory is too great although, the “borrowed” essence they possess and the feeling that they are somehow shared or even hijacked from someone else, an accidental wrong turning into another’s subconscious, pervades.
I wish I knew what these interludes meant.